Save the big breast puns and jabs for the end of the review.

Dead or Alive 5 is anything but a $60 ($80 in my case) method to buying digital fanservice because it's *gasp* actually a fantastic game...if not a bit lacking on some features. But that's okay because Dead or Alive is finally back as a franchise and we're here to see it bounce its way back into glory.

Thankfully no more baby-face model: they look like women now!

~Dead or Alive Finally Grows Up~

DOA has always been a series that's light on story and just utilized its fighting mechanics and pretty ladies to sell itself. The most you'd get out of the original four Dead or Alive games (before they were brilliantly re-told through Dead or Alive Dimensions; a game I recommend for newbies if you own a 3DS) is a 15 second cutscene to serve as a bumper between fights. You'd maybe get a video intro of the "monster/boss of the week" that's chosen for the DOA installment you're playing and then be rewarded with an entirely unrelated CG ending that goes with the character with whom you won the game. And it would last maybe 5 or 10 minutes. That's it.

Most of the fans (and yes I was initially one of them) stuck to DOA because it was an easy button masher with some lightly complex mechanics sprinkled into it with big tittied gorgeous babes in it: none of us were in for the story at all.

But Dead or Alive Dimensions for the 3DS finally added some much needed depth and gave players (for the very first time) an actual rundown of all of the major events in the original four Dead or Alive games. It wasn't the best considering the new Team Ninja had little to work with around the hardware of the system and limitations in the 'story' from earlier games but they did a LOT with what was given to them. To be frank it was enthralling to me as a veteran player to finally be experiencing firsthand all of the reasons behind most of the events that set up the character connections...even if it felt a little like a Hollywood film at times. Still though, it's welcome. It shows that the series was ripe to expand upon and finally had an easy-to-experience timeline to which Dead or Alive 5 would follow in its footsteps. 

So it's a thankful revelation that when Dead or Alive 5 picks up, it is 2 years after the end of the events of DOA4 (or in this case, DOA Dimensions) and fully intends to continue on. The premise is set up for the main arc of the story when in a desert Bayman (a soldier who specializes in grapple attacks) is attacked and nearly killed by a cloaked figure. The figure is said to be Alpha 152, who was seen in Dead or Alive 4/DOA:D as the advanced clone of Kasumi who was also the advanced form of her clone from DOA 2. As Bayman reports to (I'm guessing his employer) Helena on her private and expansive boat, Kasumi herself is seen too: wondering on the whereabouts of Alpha. Matter of fact...for some reason that's her -only- concern and subject of conversation as well, as you start out the story playing as her on her search to find Alpha. Usually this would be shrugged off since Kasumi has fought her before: obviously her wanting to finish the job wouldn't be a big deal right? Well, no actually...it's inconsistent with the way how she would normally react. Meeting up with Kasumi not long after her search begins, Hayate (her older brother) meets up with her and senses there's something up with Kasumi and this search for Alpha. He's not sure what specifically so he sends Ayane on a mission to discover the problem. While this search for Kasumi's true intention goes on, Helena clues in Hayate that due to DOATEC (the corporation that simultaneously is in charge of the Dead or Alive tournaments and its own interests in trade which mostly revolve around....something) having a new leader, herself, she will formally announce a new tournament. This big announcement which is done by Zack, the man who saved Helena from the true ending of DOA4, is what rounds up all of the other fighters in the story together. Below will be a brief character overlook with astericks next to text referring to the only REAL important characters in the entire story.

Mila (short red & black hair) is a talented, young MMA fighter who is a fan of Tina and Bass Armstrong (both wrestlers) and seizes opportunity when Zack scouts her out for DOA5. Her goal is to fight against Bass (or at least Tina) in a fight and win.

Hitomi (far left, brown hair w/ pink hairband) hopes to enter DOA5 to make up for her previous shortcomings from the 3rd and 4th tournaments.

Tina (right, blonde with cowgirl appearance) actually calls out her father (who is strangely obsessed with trying to cockblock whatever new ambition she gets in her head that she wants to do) and tells him she's coming back into the ring at DOA5. Y'know, I've never fully understood why Bass reacts the way he does...

Kokoro (middle-ish, long black hair, Japanese dress) is......here for some reason. I guess because after beating Akira (from Virtua Fighter) she felt confident.

The others are all interacting with each other on their own ways for their own goals and just happened to be amongst other fighters from other DOA tournaments. *Christie (silver hair, left) is still a trained assassin that seems to be working for M.I.S.T. and showing off her elegant beauty more than before while teasing any man she can just because she can. On the far right we have *Ayane (short purple hair ninja) who is pursuing *Kasumi on her own journey and the blonde with the elegant blue dress is *Helena.

There's also 2 more women that aren't pictured. First there's Lei Fang, a chinese girl who wants to enter the tournament to prove her strength against someone she's been trying to woo or something. The unspoken "relationship" she shares with another character is a bit confusing.

Then there's *Lisa (who has a luchadore alias as "La Mariposa") who is a scientist for M.I.S.T. and may have had connections with events as early as DOA2.

Zack (red afro) is basically the talent scout and announcer for the Dead or Alive tournament as he's working alongside Helena for the tourny and as a part of DOATEC now.

*Ryu Hayabusa (Yes the very same from Ninja Gaiden. Guy with the full ninja outfit and mask) is with *Hayate (middle/right brown hair ninja) in investigating all about Alpha and what effect it may have on the clan or Kasumi...or the world even. He's the "Ultimate Ninja" so whatever happens, he can handle it.

*Bayman (center) is also an assassin like Christie, and as explained before with his situation with Alpha, he wants to find that being/android and take it out. On top of that, he wants to find out who was responsible for it and ultimately what purpose any of it served after nearly dying at its hand. He doesn't take well to people interrupting his mission.

*Rig (new character in hoodie, far right) is a mysterious guy who's the boss of an oil rig who has no past explained about him...but he's an expert in taekwondo and is buddies with Bass (Hulk Hogan-esque character on the far right) who also works with him.

Not pictured are several characters: first starting with Jahn Lee, a Bruce Lee wannabe who is completely unlikable in almost every regard, and has this odd "relationship" with Lei Fang who keeps meeting up with him to challenge him to fights. He with his direct brute force and her with her tai chi, they collide often.

Three others are Brad Wong ( a specialist in drunken fist style) Elliot and Gen Fu (both whom share the same fighting style).

The real story of DOA5 is basically separated from the major event surrounding *Alpha 152's reappearance and mysteries surrounding the technology that created her, and the actual Dead or Alive tournament (which ends early). The story in DOA5, much like its previous games, ends on a cliffhanger while thankfully feeling more conclusive than those games. The story mode actually bothers to put a lot of effort into the events compared to previous installments and when you reach the final scenario your adrenaline may shoot through the roof. Be sure to stick around after the credits too...the game pulls an Iron Man in that there are some last minute secrets hinted for a possible Dead or Alive 6.

Ahem.

Enough of story though. Time to get to the fun bags. huehuehue.

Walk it off.

~Evolving what already worked~

Punch, Kick, Hold(Parry), and Throw. Those are your 4 means of doing damage in all Dead or Alive games. The main attraction in DOA is that it feels like a merger of Virtua Fighter/Tekken while not necessarily having the same complexities of Tekken. It's a simple go-to engine for fighting that can easily get newcomers to feel like they're good at the game they're trying out. In DOA one thing that's always stood with it from the beginning is the punishing difficulty of the AI. You can button mash to a point but only to a brief point: you'll want to train the moves of characters you enjoy in order to get much further in the game and do better. While there was no real need for DOA to drastically change up its gameplay, it needed some sort of new 'oomph' added to make DOA5 feel new. From DOA2 and onward characters fought in heavily stylized and dangerous areas where the actual arena can be used as a tool against opponents for extra damage. In 5, this hasn't changed but it's been improved in its usage and spectacle. Whereas before you'd get knocked off a platform (and get hit by fall damage) or electrocuted NOW has been updated to some dynamic action stages. Knocking somebody into electrical equipment will cause it to overload and thus causing a chain reaction where the entire floor is ready to collapse. Now all one would need to do is knock the other opponent off the platform and 4 possible outcomes are opened:

- opponent hangs onto the ledge of the platform which is then open to 2 very destructive attacks that change depending on character and the input (attack or throw)

- opponent falls to the ground/floor underneath

- opponent falls to the ground/floor underneath and actually gets hit with flying debris on the way down

Cause someone to hit something big and explosive in a level and you may cause a meltdown in someone's workplace where it LITERALLY self destructs, or knock somebody into some tree branches holding you still on a wooden platform in a cavernous lake and be carried towards a waterfall's edge: the game does whatever it can to spice up the excitement of the fight!

This is all including if you learn the new moves that are added to existing characters or the 2 new mechanics that are complete game changers to help you further even the opposition. One is the Critical Burst which temporarily stuns an enemy in place (think of it like 'dizzying' an enemy in Street Fighter or other 2D games) and the other is the Power Blow. This move is opened to the player once their health bar is glowing red and acts as a 'revenge' against the opponent that inflicted the damage (Like the revenge meter in Street Fighter IV) as upon holding down a certain command, the character lunges forward with either a punch or kick. IF it connects they will then lash out a powerful, devastating combo that has the potential (depending on the arena) to do 50% damage.

You can finally do Ryu's Kamehameha-like finisher as an attack against enemies hanging on ledges. So satisfying and brutal!!

But y'know the game is only as entertaining as it can be with the gameplay on its own ONLY SO FAR: you need content to carry it. With Dead or Alive, much like any of the previous DOA games you are given:

- Arcade (Fight against 8 AI opponents)

- Versus (Fight against either AI or Player 2. Can save replay videos of fights.)

- Time Attack (See how quickly you can beat Arcade Mode)

- Survival (See how many opponents you can beat before being KO'd)

- Training (Self explanatory)

- Online (with usual modes of Ranked/Unranked matchmaking and the ability to make your own lobby)

- Spectator (Watch replays you've saved or downloaded. You can even take photos here.)

- Missions (Mostly just a template for figuring out how to receive certain online titles by reading their requirements)

Unfortunately Dead or Alive doesn't carry a lot of modes with it beyond what you expected out of Dead or Alive before. If you don't know what this means, it means that the number of modes has only expanded recently in Dead or Alive: Dimensions for the 3DS. That's it. I'd say that the game could use a fight-specific, "do this and this thing" sort of mission mode but the Story mode already takes care of that. When you're experiencing the story, every single fight has a 'Bonus' mission to which you can choose to objectively complete or not. Things such as 'Do 5 Hi-Counter Strikes' or 'Do 2 Sidestep Strikes' are in every single fight and get progressively harder as you move along with the story. Story mode already takes care of the alternative mission-hunting, so really the only problem left is what exactly else do you add to Dead or Alive?

...oh right, costumes.

Tits are finally going to be talked about here btw. Dead or Alive values itself on how sexy the women of the franchise look, and 5 is no exception...but the silliness of it has all almost entirely faded away. Much like the story, the costumes are trying for a more sexy-and-elegant sort of look to everybody so that you can still appreciate how good the game is AND fa-..er...play the game to your heart's content. Kasumi still has her ninja outfit variants (and a brand new one to make her match Ayane, Hayate, and Ryu finally) and Tina still has her bigger-than-life array of costuming but they still take time to show the goods. What's also appreciated is the ridiculous 90s anime tit bounce physics from previous DOA games are toned down. Sure, they're still there but how these boobs bounce is more realistic-yet-still-exaggerated...and that somehow actually makes the appeal sexier. Probably the way how the lighting works. Maybe.

Don't judge me.

Also in mid-game (but most noticeable on character victories) characters sweat as an added sense of realism and how hard characters onscreen are fighting against each other. Players will get their fighters dirty or wet and their clothing actually reacts how it should. Get Kasumi or anybody else wearing those nice looking outfits drenched in the waterfall level and the fabric will suddenly appear heavier and their stockings will seem see-through. =w=

It helps that Team Ninja gave all fans their first DLC pack away for free and if you're a lucky man like myself you have not only those costumes BUT the Collector's Edition.

...oh right, let's talk about that shall we?

If you paid $80 for one of these bad boys you got rewarded handsomely for the dedication by all the goodies packed in with it. Included is an extensive Art Book (featuring pictures of every character, most stages, and a lot of developers notes), a CD soundtrack of the game (though it's missing the glorious final boss tunes! D:< ) a DOA5 poster, and where the picture of the bikini-clad Kasumi therein lies a code where you can download bikinis for all of the babes in the game. All of this is, of course, tucked in a nice metal tin.

All together, Dead or Alive 5 has surprised and satisfied me in almost every regard that it could. I'm more than happy about Team Ninja's attention to detail in both the story and the character models while maturing the tone of everything overall so that it feels like it's tailored to the kind of fan that I am. Newcomers may find themselves some enjoyment in the features presented and the easy-to-understand combat system but will be left a little cold on the story with so many references to previous events and why they hold water. The fighting is gruesome...sometimes even unfair with how the frame data works with DOA5 in general, and the Virtua Fighter references matter so little that not even SEGA bothered to advertise anything about it: why should anybody care about it then? Each punch hits hard, each battle is intense, the girls are STILL sexy as hell...and damn it I need more of this franchise.